A few weeks ago, it was time for my re-certification; to make the dreaded trip to the clinic so I can get a little piece of paper to carry in my wallet that proclaims my health does not prevent me from safely operating a commercial motor vehicle. Since I still seem to need a job, I reported to the clinic.
They ran all the usual tests, eyes, ears, reflexes, and the like—and found nothing wrong. Apparently, I am a quite healthy specimen of a human. They could’ve just asked, I would have told them there’s nothing wrong with me—I suffer none of the common ailments of the typical 47-year-old male.
But that, of course, wasn’t good enough for the doctor. My age, coupled with the fact that I do not see a doctor regularly—not at all, actually, other than the irritating DOT physical every two years—seemed to concern her. My insistence that every two years was by definition, “regular” health checks didn’t impress her either.
“You really need to see a doctor more frequently,” she said.
“Why?” I wondered. “If there’s nothing wrong with me, what would be the point?” To waste my hard-earned money by giving it to someone in a white jacket so they can tell me I’m healthy, I suppose.
“Everybody needs to have regular health exams,” she insisted. “That’s the only way to ensure a healthy life.”
Right, I was thinking. ‘Cause I have so many problems now due to not seeing a doctor! No, I didn’t tell her that. Instead, I said, “You might be right. I’ll probably consider starting regular doctor visits about the same age as my dad.”
She frowned at me. “How old was he?”
I shrugged. “I’ll let you know when he starts.”
“He doesn’t see a doctor regularly?” She was aghast. “Why on Earth not?"
“Same reason I don’t,” I said. “Ain’t nothing wrong. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
The look she gave me said I had a very unhealthy approach to healthcare. “I’m going to have to sit down and calm myself after you leave,” she said, handing me my medical card.
Being the nice, considerate, and thoughtful person I am, I offered this bit of advice, “You probably shouldn’t worry so much, it’s not healthy.”
Told you I don’t do the doctor thing so well.