But I like to be different; to say things my own way, and somewhere back in my early teens, I decided “sliced peanut butter” was the appropriate ending for that saying. The expression on people’s faces and the puzzled looks they gave me were sometimes hilarious. Of course, those who did not appreciate my humor always made it a point to inform me that peanut better is not sliced. Really? And one person even felt compelled to enlighten me as to how dumb I was for making such a statement.
I just laughed. I’m not sure what the appropriate response to that would be. And, I didn’t let it stop me. I continued to repeat the saying—along with many others. But this was my favorite. When my kids got old enough to actually hear what I was saying, they all tried to “help” me, their “old” dad, who they must have thought was going senile.
Then one day, in the course of my travels as a truck driver, I was sent to pick up a load of snacks from the plant where they were made. The load wasn’t ready so, I had to wait. As a lot of places do, they had a driver room where we could watch the production. Imagine my amusement when I saw the assembly line for crackers and peanut butter snacks. The crackers came down a conveyor belt, where the peanut butter was then added—not squirted, as I would have thought, but in slices. Yep, slices! In order to keep a uniform consistency, I was told, the peanut butter was formed into logs, chilled, and then sliced. What a great idea!
After that, I didn’t hesitate to tell anyone who objected to my little saying that they were wrong. I think my kids were the only ones who appreciated it though. At the time, I couldn’t help but think it was nice to be vindicated. Great actually. The greatest thing since, wait—this WAS sliced peanut butter!
Inside Room 913
Bruce A. Borders
Allergic To Life