Over the last couple of years, I’ve done several interviews. During one of those, a few months ago, I was asked a question that I couldn’t answer. Which is odd, since I’m usually quite analytical and ready with an answer. It was a simple question really, “If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?” Now, I’m by no means perfect but I’m quite happy being me and have no desire to change. As regular readers of this blog know, I’m not a fan of change—unless there’s an extraordinarily good reason.

Besides, if there were something I did want to change, I’m pretty sure I would have already changed it. I mean, it’s not like I have to okay it with anyone. I’m not talking about changing jobs, cars, houses, or anything extraneous, although I don’t really like changing those things either. But, I’m referring more to characteristics and attributes—the stuff that makes me, well, me.

All this went through my mind as I contemplated my answer. It also crossed my mind that maybe I should stop doing interviews if I can’t answer a simple question! Dead air space isn’t what anyone likes to hear.

But back to the question, what about me would I change? It’s still something I can’t really answer. My life, my very identity, consists of the many little things that have occurred. Together, these things define me; define who I am, good, bad, or in-between. I am the sum total of all of them. Everything I’ve experienced, everything I’ve done, everything about me, makes me who I am today. Take anything away and I would be a different person. And, who knows what that would mean? Could be good, might be bad. Again, I’m not claiming I’m perfect or that I couldn’t improve, but this is who I am. And I see no reason to change. As I said, I’m quite happy and content being me.

I don’t think I’m alone. I think most people are who they want to be, whether they admit it or not. Sure, they may complain about things they do not like about themselves, they might say they want to change, but if it were really all that important, they would change.

So, how did I answer the question? Well, I didn’t say any of what I’ve written here, though I was thinking it. Instead, I said, I think it might help if I learned to not be so analytical.

So did the Easter Bunny see his shadow, or not? I missed that yesterday.

What’s that? I’m confused? No, I don’t think so. It makes as much sense as a groundhog predicting the weather, which, by the way, it’s been far longer than six weeks since February 2 – and winter has still not disappeared.

On the bright side, we did have some sunshine today! And, I have mowed the lawn a couple of times. That is, a couple of times this year. I think there would be no point in mowing it twice today! Although, I did have a neighbor once who mowed his lawn every single day of the summer. No, I’m not kidding.

Not only did he mow every day, he trimmed and weeded too. And raked. And swept off the sidewalk. Obviously, he had more time in his day than I. With all that lawn care, you’d think he would have had the best-looking grass in the neighborhood, but no. His lawn was about average – like everyone else’s.

I didn’t talk to him much ‘cause I figured he was a little crazy – and his mower was always running. But one spring day he stopped mowing long enough to tell me that we were going to have a long summer that year. Then, he said something about an Easter Bunny. I’m not exactly sure what the Easter Bunny had to do with the longevity of summer but he seemed convinced they were related.

Thing is, he was right! We did have a long summer. Although, I’m pretty sure that was due to the weather staying warmer longer and had nothing at all to do with a fictitious rabbit – whether said rabbit saw his shadow or not!

To be fair, the guy didn’t mention anything about shadows, that was just my conjecture. I still have no idea what he was talking about. But at least now, you know the reason behind my opening question. See? I’m not really confused after all! Or, am I?

This past week marked thirty years since I first met my wife. That may not seem like such a big deal to some but for me, it’s fairly mind-boggling. Thirty years! Three decades! How could that amount of time have passed so quickly? And without me knowing about it? It may sound like a cliché but it really does seem like just the other day.

I remember thinking she was good looking and I’m sure I probably stared a lot, but if I recall, we didn’t talk at all. Yeah, it was a rather uneventful meeting, except for one thing – her eyes. For some reason, those eyes, deep and mysterious, enticing and intriguing, were all I saw, even days later. They just wouldn’t leave me alone. Not that I wanted to be left alone, but come on, a girl shouldn’t have that much power over a guy!

Of course, at the time, I had no idea that in three years I would marry her. Apparently, I didn’t have much of a vision for the future. I was just fascinated with her eyes – still am, by the way – and found it hard to focus on anything else.

It was another year before I asked her out. During those months, I saw her a few times and we would talk occasionally, which only served to further imprint the picture of her eyes in my mind – just in case I’d forgotten.

Sometimes it’s interesting to see how the little things in life can lead to something bigger. Cause and effect as it’s known. Usually, this concept is used in reverse – to find the cause of a particular event. In this case, I’ve already identified the cause so we can concentrate on the effects. Just look at everything that has transpired in our lives – all because of her eyes. The condensed version is, we met, started dating, got married, raised three kids, and as of next month our grandchildren will number five. That’s quite a chain of events. My question is, how has there possibly been enough time for all of that? Oh, yeah. I think I did mention something about thirty years.

The problem with birthdays is, they tend to make you older. The problem with not having birthdays is, well, I’m sure you can figure that out. Having birthdays, or not having them, one thing is for certain; no one is getting any younger. Profound, I know!

As you may have guessed, last week, I celebrated another anniversary of the day of my birth. (You really can only ever have one actual birthday).

My son called to wish me a happy birthday, and like many others, asked if I felt older – and that got me to thinking. I know, we’re all in trouble when I start the process of pondering these things! The answer to his question was no, I didn’t really feel older. I don’t really consider myself to be old. And that sometimes leads to problems.

How could that be a problem?

Well, I still think of myself as 20 years old, and still think I can do all the things I did then. And keep up the same life-style. There are still 24 hours in the day and I like to stay busy, oh, about 24 of them. My brain and body used to cooperate but lately, it’s a different story. Now, there is a war of sorts. My brain says, “Who needs sleep? Go for it.” But the rest of me has started objecting. So, while I may think I’m 20, at times my body feels like it’s pushing 80. That is definitely a problem.

So, I guess the full answer to the question is, I don’t feel older – it’s hard to feel older when you already feel 80!

But I don’t think I could change – even if I wanted to. For me, any amount of time spent sleeping, or some other passive activity, is time wasted – nothing gets done. I’m pretty sure no one on their deathbed ever said, “I wish I would have slept more.” No, it’s usually that they wish they had done more. And so, that’s what I’m doing – more. I’m told it’s unhealthy and may shorten my life, that I could run short of birthdays. That may be true. As I mentioned, that is one of the problems with birthdays - when they run out.

I guess if I have my choice I’ll go with just getting older. Somehow though, I don’t think it’s up to me. On one hand, I might see well over a hundred birthdays. Or, maybe I’ll be the first to say, “I should have slept more.”